Chunky or Baby?

So, getting that cute little baby bump was more of a mental challenge for me than others. 

I'm 5'2" on a good day with shoes on.  I'm also not the skinniest girl in the world.  I see posts on facebook and other blogs and think part of the pregnancy journey requires some of those taken-from-the-side cute little baby bump photos.  And they are cute....if you are a size 6.  However, I had a bit of that baby bump long before I had reason to...and that, my friends, is not cute!

I had Hubby take a side-picture of me at something like 9 weeks and I've not shared it with anyone.  My sister-in-law keeps begging me for a pic & has even taken some and sent of herself in order to coax me into it, but I haven't done it.

At the beginning of August, I could tell when I'd go to the store or see people I hadn't seen in a while that people were eyeballing my waistline.  It was just like to kind of sly little  downward glances that you get when a guy is eye-balling your chest.  A couple times I wanted to say, "Hey.  I'm up here!"  Believe me, I wanted the whole world to know that the extra pudge I was carrying was not due to eating too much ice cream on hot summer nights.

It wasn't until August (about 7 months into pregnancy) that people all of a sudden began saying I looked pregnant.  I didn't know whether to take it as a compliment or not when I walked into work one day with a tighter maternity shirt on and a co-worker exclaimed, "WOW!  You really look pregnant TODAY!"  Whew...at least it was finally obvious! 

So, while most girls love to show off that baby bump, I didn't really look like I was pregnant for the longest time and that, my friends, does not help the psyche of a chunky girl!

I've Been a Bad Bad Girl

Actually, I've been a bad, bad blogger.  I've struggled over the last couple of months about writing on my blog.  I have so many supportive friends on here who are going through the process or have experienced loss.  I'd never want to write about my pregnancy and make them sad.  We are strong and supportive of each other and that's why I've joined this little community.

However, I don't think it's fair to quit writing about my whole experience, including pregnancy, because we are never guaranteed tomorrow in the infertility world.  I think it is unfair to cut the story short.

So, I've decided to do some catching up on my blog and write about the last few months.  Thanks to several of you who have left comments or sent me emails asking if I'm OK.  I'm hanging in there!  And if you think some of my IVF posts have been funny, just wait till you hear about the craziness that has ensued over the past few months....peeing my pants, overnight stays in the hospital, and stupid bedrest.

Hang on, ladies.  I'm back.