Friday, November 30, 2012

IVF: 10 Things I Hate About You

I started this post many months ago, before I was fortunate enough to get my BFP.  I started to write this post as a joke.  As most of my posts are, it's only about half a joke, with a dash of tongue-in-cheek truth.

So here is my top 10 list for why I HATE IVF....

10. Insurance Companies.  You do cover certain things and you do not cover other things.  You need pre-approval for certain things.  You take your sweet time getting me answers.  You don't really seem to be concerned about ME, your customer.

9. Specialty Pharmacies (at least the 1 I've had to deal with, per #10).  Your right hand has no idea what your left hand is doing.  You quote me 3 different prices and 3 different delivery dates, only for me to not receive the syringes and needles with which to inject myself.  And never, never, NEVER have you ever been able to to fill an entire order of mine without SOMETHING being on back order.  You should be alleviating stress, not causing it.

8. Night Sweats.  Even though I bathe at night before I go to bed, thanks to Lupron for continually allowing me to wake up in drenched in a pool of my own sweat.  You make me late to work because I have to bathe again before I can go out in public.

7. Progesterone Suppositories.  Your oozing is gross.  Wearing a panty-liner in the middle of a round of IVF is defeating the purpose.

6. Hot Flashes.  Again, thanks to Lupron, I can sweat, almost on cue.  This is not what I'd consider a real talent.

5. Trigger Shots.  You are a B!+CH.  You hurt.  You hurt going in, but that's not the end of you.  You have to hurt for days just to prove your point.

4.  Progesterone in Oil (PiO) Shots.  You hurt worse than trigger shots.  Know why?  Cause you just keep in and day out....which hip will swell & hurt for this 12-hour stint?

3. Ovarian Hyper Stimulation Syndrome (OHSS).  You were the nastiest, rudest surprise I've ever gotten.  You made me feel like I was giving birth to my ovaries.  While giving birth is the point of all this, I'd rather keep my insides on the inside, if you don't mind.

2. Retrieval.  It's been a scary experience both times.  Not only during the procedure have I felt everything that was going on, but I also have turned white and tried to pass out afterwards.

1.  BFNs.  You're just the rotten, worm-eaten cherry on top of this mess.  I spend all the money, inject myself with hormones (which I think I read somewhere come from horse urine?), go through humiliation, and put my body through hell, just to get negatives.  And notice that this is plural...most of us experience this hell more than once. 


  1. love this post. :) especially #4. it's not even the physical needle itself. It's the days after. I stopped my PIO on Nov 4...I am honest to god STILL numb on my right side...

  2. wow.. right??
    I stoped PIO over a year ago and am still sore on!

  3. IVF sounds like a round of chemotherapy...without the hair loss.