Saturday, March 19, 2011

Connecting the Dots

In the weeks since the phone call, I had talked a lot to Dr. Google - just as I was told not to.  (Did she really think she could drop those bombs on the phone to me and I'd really wait 3 1/2 weeks till my next appointment to learn anything about what she said?!  She obviously didn't know me and my Type A personality very well!)  I  learned a lot about Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) and Metabolic Syndrome.  My hormones were messed up, causing my body to make too much insulin and not uptake enough.  My own body was working against me!  (My luck!  Of course it was!

Looking back, things started to make sense.  My periods had been irregular from the start and later in high school they became extremely painful.  My doctor had prescribed birth control pills for me as a freshman in college so I could endure the pain long enough to leave my dorm and go to class.  I had continually put on weight, too.  Over the years, I'd eventually gone from a size 4 to a size 14 while having a very active lifestyle.  Because of the weight gain, my previous doctor had even tested me for diabetes and thyroid problems, but found no major problems.  I had been able to lose a little weight, in the past, for a short time, but it had to be an all-consuming process including obsessive exercising and calorie counting almost to the point of starvation.  It never stayed off and I felt terrible about it.  The summer of 2010, I had been running - up to 4 miles per day for months - and had not lost a single pound.  I ate a very healthy diet and only ate when I was hungry, but the scales didn't show it.  I felt like I wasn't working hard enough or wasn't disciplined enough.  Was I just fat and lazy and making excuses?  It was exhausting to even try to lose just a few pounds and I had often told my husband that I wasn't sure why this one thing had to be so difficult for me. 

Things were starting to make sense, finally, and I was able to connect the dots for myself.  I wasn't lazy!  I was happy to have some answers, but I was also sad to learn that this would be a life-long problem for me.


  1. I think Go.ogle is both the best and worst thing to happen to patients. I love that I can get lots of information so that I can ask lots of questions when I see my doctors, but it also can be information overload and what can happen, probably only actually happens to a small percentage of people. I can't tell you all the crazy things the internet has diagnosed me with. At least it tries though! It took almost a year and three doctors to figure out I had PCOS. And that doesn't even count the doctor I had as a teenager who just put me on birth control for a decade (seriously) instead of figuring out why I was so messed up. So maybe Dr. Go.ogle isn't so bad after all. Hang in there!

  2. Happy ICLW from #63 & #153

    I'm so glad that you have found some answers on PCOS. That's fantastic. Its nice to have some sort of answer. Looking forward to getting to know you better and thanks for stopping by my new blog.

  3. I'm glad things were finally able to start making sense. I can just imagine how frustrating that must have been!

  4. It's never easy to get a new diagnosis. The only good thing about it is the hope that when I problem is found, it can be fixed! GL at your next appt!

    ICLW 149

  5. Thanks for following my blog. I was trying to shoot you an email but I can't seem to find your contact info. Anyways, with regards to your question, I could go either way as far as trying again. Part of me is SO content that I can't imagine disturbing this perfect balance, but there is another part of me that can see wanting another when my girls are older (maybe kindergarten age). If I didn't have any ice babies left my answer would be HELL NO!

    I am following your blog now as well. I wish you the best of luck on your upcoming cycle!

  6. I found your blog via ICLW and I've read back from the beginning of this tale - I want to give you a hug.

  7. I know exactly what you mean. I will have to deal with this the rest of my life?! It feels daunting at first. I feel you.

    Thank you for stopping by my blog! I'll get working on those bracelets shortly!