Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda

Wed., Feb. 8th would have been my due date if IVF #1 had worked.  I realized this the other day when I sat down to think about what the last year has held for us.  We've been through SO much.  Tests, surgeries, bloodwork, ultrasounds, retrievals, transfers....it's a lot.

Rather than focusing on what could've been ours at this point, I'm trying to hold out hope for this 3rd round to be successful.  Everyone else around me seems to think this is "the time," but they also did the previous 2 times....oh well, at least I have supportive people around me.  At some point, they have to be right, right?

I don't think that it's a complete coincidence that this week has been a week focused a lot on myself.  I've taken the time to get my nails done (for the 1st time ever), go to a professional hockey game, have lunch with my co-workers, get acupuncture, and go to a card-making/scrapbooking class.  I didn't plan it this way at all.  Normally, I barely find the time to do any of those things ever...let alone all in the same week!  I'm more of a workaholic.  I work long hours, come home, and do housework or cook, and maybe find time to exercise a little before taking a bath and falling asleep before my head hits the pillow-only to wake up and do it all over again.  Heck, it took me playing phone tag with the salon for 3 weeks just to get the nail appointment set up!  I think God must've held his tongue in just the right position and divinely aligned the stars so all this stuff happened to work out perfectly in my schedule this week.  I could get used to this!!  It's helped get my mind off of the passing of a woulda-coulda-shoulda been due date and also my upcoming FET on Friday.  I ought to be as stress free as I've ever been for those little embies to dig in and get cozy for a while! 

Now if only I were laying on a beach with some white sand and a drink that required a little umbrella....


  1. Hope you continue to find ways to de-stress till Friday. Crossing fingers for you that this is your time and you FET goes well Friday.

  2. (Hugs) I am glad you are taking some time for yourself and I hope the destressing will lead to everything lining up perfectly so that you get your bfp. Sending you lots of sticky babydust!

  3. You time is exactly what you should be doing. It's easy to let life take over and neglect yourself. Your head needs to be focused and peaceful for this third try. I'm glad you are trying to stay hopeful!

  4. So very glad you are making time for you during this very important week! Thinking of you as you mourn what could have been, but also celebrating with you about what could be as the result of Friday!