Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Banned Facebook Statuses

If you've read my blog, you know that I've said several times I'm a facebook addict.  I love the thing.  I use it for work, personal life, & a photography business that Hubby & I own together.  I put up pics, comment on others posts & share my thoughts with friends....A LOT.  I don't even mind the pregnancy announcements & pics that follow. 

However, there have been several posts that have run through my devious little brain, but I have NOT shared on facebook.  These are just things no one should ever share, at least not with the delicate fertile public.  For your entertainment, I present my top 10 Facebook Statuses that I ban myself to ever post:

1. Stuck some progesterone up my hoo hah before I went to bed last night.  Hope it doesn't fall out!
2. Well, it's Monday, so Hubby got up and stuck me in the a$$ first thing this morning.  What a way to start the week!
3. Wow, seems like the more men I add to the process, the more it costs to get knocked up!
4. Hope I mixed my drugs correctly before I shot up this morning.
5. No, I cannot have a meeting with you today because A. I don't like you, & B. I'm full of hormones.  NOT a good combination, for your sake.
6. Leaving the house to go get knocked-up.  For most people, that's just a fun option.
7. My Doc costs more than a virgin hooker!
8.  My drug dealer came through!  Yay!
9.  Hope the embryologist gets my ice babies all thawed & warm before putting them in me later today!  No frost allowed at the equator!!
10. Can peeing on a stick be a hobby?

11. When the Doc told me I'd be starting & ending my day with shots, this is NOT what I had in mind...


  1. Ha ha! I can't wait until he reads this!

  2. This is awesome! There are so many times I have wanted to post exactly what is going on.

  3. This is classic. I am totally copying you at some point and doing my own inappropriate facebook posts. Oh the things that we refrain from saying. People would be shocked what our lives are really life behind those FB pages.

  4. Post them. I double-dog DARE you.

    And I'll "like" every one.

  5. LOVE this! I want to post SO much on FB but alas...I do not...

  6. I love it!!!! That just made my night, I badly needed a laugh!

  7. Love these!! #5 completely cracks me up.

  8. OMG, I love your posts. You should seriously write a book, you make the infertility process bareable because honestly, if I can't spend the entire time crying (dh won't let me and my face would swell,) at least I can laugh about it, lol!

  9. That's hilarious!

    I do have to admit, I have posted about shooting up before. Probably a lot, lol.

    I really love the bonus one about the shots btw!

  10. Not embarrassed to admit I don't do FB.. I don't need to know when someone farts. I think it would only add to the stress of IF. Happy to be blissfully naive and a snob to that social media. But I like the idea of your status's!! Those naive to the life of an infertile would really raise their brows!!

  11. I love this!! I also had the thought that it would be passive-aggressive and rude to post a picture of a negative HPT every month.

  12. 1, 3, and 10 had to be my faves. I was laughing, definitely a funny post.