I had, as I figured, many friends that "liked" this post. However, I had not anticipated the protest from many friends for me to post my blog address. Oh geez. Hubby immediately said, "You're not going to post that, are you?" I told him there was no way. Let's face it, I've poured out a lot of my heart on here. It's my therapy and just maybe it will help someone else along this same windy, not quite beaten bath. But expose myself for the whole world ,or rather, my 1,500 friends on Facebook? That's another level for which I'm just not ready.
When I thought about what would happen if I did post the address for the world to see, I felt very naked...and not in a Marvin Gaye Let's-Get-It-On kinda way. Was it just that I don't want the world to know all my troubles? Maybe a little. Afterall, I do hate hand-on-the-forehead, woe is me, everybody pay attention to me kind of drama. But I know that there's more to it than that. I felt like it would expose this secret thing in my life. Was it shame? Was it embarrassment? Deep down, do I have a fear that I'm the one-of-these-things-that's-not-like-the-others? Possibly. If I'm honest, probably.
I, though, get a guilty conscience when I feel the need to keep the infertility part of my life hidden from the world. I'm very much a believer in being honest...hence some of my rather
So, I'm not ready to come out of the closet...that is, the nursery closet...yet. Many of my close friends and a lot of our family members know about our struggles. That's enough, at least for now.