Friday, June 3, 2011

8dp5dt - Giant Question Mark

Wednesday, June 1st was 8 days past transfer.  I got up, poas, and it was negative.

I went to work and was busy most of the day.  I still had discoloration all day going on, which made me nervous.  AF:  Either come or don't.  But make up your gosh darned mind already!

Tonight we had our end-of-year cookout and party for the children enrolled in my Youth Center as well as all of their families.  One of the mothers had texted me on my cell phone while I was at home the night before transfer.  Normally, if a parent wants to talk to me, I will talk, even if I'm "off the clock."  However, this particular mother is one of the type of people that thinks mainly of herself and is quite the drama queen.  I just didn't think it was good to talk to her at that point.  I had texted her back that night saying that I was unavailable - that I was going in for out-of-town surgery the next day and I'd be on bed rest and off work for the next week.  I told her that I'd be happy to talk to her when I got back to work the following Tuesday.  Well, at our cookout on Wednesday night, I got cornered by this mother that asked if I was OK and for what I had to have surgery.  I was really put on the spot and wasn't sure what to say, so I told her that Hubby and I are trying to have a baby and are having to go through IVF.  She put her hand on my shoulder and proceeded to tell me to just adopt some and then I'd get pregnant because that happened to someone we both know.  My Mom (God bless her) was standing behind me and piped in saying that it wasn't that easy - that's not how it works - that it'd never happen naturally - and that that was not our plan.

I have to get used to not being so shocked that people are so flippant with their comments and say something back to them.  I can think of all these witty things to say after-the-fact.  "Thanks for that useless advice."  "Easy for you to say since you have many children with your ex husband."  "Perhaps you wouldn't say that to me if you knew the amount of heart-ache, money, shots, and procedures we've been through in order to have a chance at having a child."  Or maybe I should just stick with the whole, "I don't remember asking for your opinion."

Later that evening my father-in-law called to see how I was doing.  We updated him and told him that we hoped to have some sort of answer tomorrow with my 1st beta.

I felt like I was on the verge of tears all day.  Hate that all the symptoms are the same.  I feel like I have a giant question mark hanging over my head.  I'm hoping that I'll be able to get the numbers from my beta very soon.


  1. I'm thinking of you.....

  2. THinking of you and hoping that you get good news from your beta. I understand how awful this waiting is and how analyzing every little sign you have in your body makes you crazy. Hugs.

  3. Fingers crossed, anxiously awaiting your next post.

  4. Hoping that it's too early and your BFP is on the way. Some people say the most flippant but hurtful things. Thinking of you always xoxo

  5. Hoping you get good news from your beta!! And I think "I don't remember asking for your opinion" is a brilliant response to any dumb comments.

  6. Sending positive thoughts your way!