Monday, June 6, 2011

9dp5dt - The Answer

I got up really early on Thursday, June 2nd to go to my morning Rotary meeting.  I poas - my last test.  I thought it looked a little questionable.  I couldn't tell if my eyes were playing tricks on me or if there really was a very faint line there.  I even got Hubby up to look at the thing.  He really couldn't tell either, but I could tell he was cautiously excited.  Maybe my HCG level was finally detectable.  That would mean it had to be around 25, so I felt good as I left for my meeting.

Of course the speaker at Rotary went over his time limit and then we had to have our individual pictures taken for the new roster.  I thought I was never going to get out of there to get my blood drawn for the beta.

Finally at 8:30, I got to the blood draw station and was told that I could call in 3 hours and get the results.  I was ecstatic that I didn't have to wait till evening.  I'd have an answer.  Soon!

I went to work and managed to keep myself busy until 11:30am when I called the lab to get the numbers.  I had a busy day with a tour at 1pm and a potential employee coming for a job interview at 2pm.  I had things to get ready prior to both of those.

At 11:30, the lab tech told me that my beta came back at less than 2.4.  I am not pregnant.

The rest of the day, I was a mess.  I called Hubby who left work and came to sit in my office and cry with me.  My staff members all came to check on me.  My Mom even came to be sad with me.  I texted friends a simple message - It's a no.  That's all I could manage.  Some called, but I just couldn't answer my phone.  If I opened my mouth I just cried harder.

I tried to pull myself together to get through the rest of the day.  I know my eyes were puffy and I looked funny, but it was as good as it was going to get that day.  I gave the tour and got several new volunteers and donors.  I hired my Summer College Intern.  I managed to get through the day with the children at the Youth Center.  It was the last day that we were open for the school year.

17 comments:

  1. I am SO sorry. I wish I could do something to help or make you feel better, but I know better than that. I am so afraid of this outcome myself and I can imagine what you must be feeling.

    We're here for you dear. As much as we can be. Take care.

    MissConception

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  2. Oh mate, Im so sorry. Ive been thinking of you.
    xoxo

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  3. So sorry about your result... it's so much harder when you have hope that it might be positive - I know your pain. Thinking of you xoxo

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  4. Oh, no. That sucks. I'm so sorry! Hugs.

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  5. Here from LFCA. I am so sorry.

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  6. I am so sorry to hear this cycle didn't work. I wish I could fast forward time for you and just get you to your BFP. Keeping you and your family in my thoughts.

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  7. Honey, I am SO sorry! I was really hoping this was it for you. It kinda sounds like it might have been a chemical pregnancy. I was getting positive pregnancy tests at home starting at 6dp5dt. But, my second beta at 12dp5dt was only a 3. I know EXACTLY how you are feeling right now. Keep up the fight...you'll get there!

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  8. So sorry sweetheart! Sending big hugs!

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  9. I'm sorry this one wasn't THE one. *hugs*

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  10. Oh Joey, I'm so sorry. I know how it feels. Give yourself some time. (((hugs)))

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  11. I am so sorry....today I got my BFN with my 3rd IVF cycle. I know nothing can be said to make you feel better. Just know many people are thinking about you.

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  12. That is such sad news. Please accept my virtual hug.

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