Wednesday, October 19, 2011

What's Next?

Hubby and I are trying to recover from this 2nd failed attempt at IVF-ICSI. Most of the time, I'm ok. Work has been extremely busy lately. Every once in a while, though, I start feeling sorry for myself. Friends at work and church were so disappointed to hear it didn't work. My sister-in-law emailed and said she was sure it was going to work this time. I wish she was right.

I think I've handled it better this time because I found out on my own terms in private. There was not this giant get-your-hopes-up build up. I didn't have to agonize over how many hours I'd have to wait for the beta blood test and then the phone call with results. My period came early. It was an unexpected, unwelcome surprise. But it happened. In my bathroom. In the morning before I really had my wits about me. Several days early. God let me down easy this time.

Hubby hasn't said much, other than he's so very disappointed. Makes me sad that my body is now the one not cooperating. We jumped his IF hurdle. Now why is my bod not doing its job?

Several days after the beta, I realized that my math was a little off. I have been saying that we've now been trying for more than 4 years. That's not actually the truth. Technically, we've really only had a shot at it twice. Out of 4 years of timing, taking temps, charting, and now shooting myself up, we've only had a real shot at a baby two times. Stats show that it takes sometime between 3 months and a year to be successful. I do not like what I just realized.

My body is still recovering from this round of retrieval. My left ovary was handling the brunt of OHSS and I think it's still mad at me. Every once in a while, I feel a tinge of pain. I know you're angry! You don't need to take it out on me!

And now, I need your input! I was speaking with my other sister-in-law about the whole ordeal last weekend. She had several miscarriages and had a lot of trouble conceiving their 4th and final child. She gave me a book that was recommended to her that talks about nutrition and infertility. She and others have suggested both acupuncture and deep tissue massage. Our problems stem from Hubby's infertility issues. I've tested very young and healthy internally, minus PCOS which is regulated well by drugs. I can understand doing these things if I was the one in the marriage with fertility issues-but I'm not. My Doc is pleased with me and with the quantity and size of eggs I produce. Would these things do me any good? I'd normally say any excuse to have a massage is a good one, but in reality, these things are rather expensive to have done-especially more than once. What's your experience been with these things and implantation?

7 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry this didn't work out for you. I need some good news right now and I just pray that you are still in the game. I know I am.

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  2. Hi there...new follower here. Sorry things didn't work out this time. I can't really render any advice cause I won't start my first cycle till January or February but I do hope you get some advice. I'll be following along on your journey.

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  3. My IVF cycle just failed too. I had my WTF appt yesterday and signed up for an acupuncture and massage package. I figure these things can only help. My DR said anything that increases blood flow will help with implantation. My first appt is Tuesday and they will be giving me herbs then also. I can let you know what they give me next week. We have unexplained infertility but I figure I will try anything. I also signed up for a few massages just because getting the negative test was so devastating. I want to be completely relaxed going in to the next round. GL with what you decide!! :)

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  4. I've heard wonderful things about adding acupuncture to the IVF process, regardless of the infertility cause. I would deffinetly give it a go! Not sure about deep tissue massage, but it sounds wonderful:) I am so sorry this 2nd round didn't work out, maybe your body will respond better to FET? I did the math on ttc as well for me a while back and discovered that over 3 years, I've only ovulated for sure one time, so its not like 12 tries for us each year either. It sucks, but it doesn't diminish your struggle in anyway, You are right that it takes more shots than that on average to get pregnant, so hang in there and hopefully 3rd time is a charm. (hugs)

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  5. There are actual studies that have been done to see if acupuncture helps with IVF. The results show that it does positively impact your success rates. If you want to look up the actual studies, look on Google Scholar. If you just Google search you get bulletin boards and various anecdotal sites, but on Scholar you can get the actual peer reviewed publications. Hope that helps a bit.

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  6. The fertility massage is not typically 'pleasurable'...it is a little intense and not like a swedish! Acupunture, there is data showing it's usefulness if you have or don't have IF issues personally, but truthfully, I dont know just how much it helps. Everyone seems to have different opinions, but all agree it doesn't hurt. Just because you had two opportunities to try, doesn't take away from the 4 year wait. xo

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  7. I'm in a very similar situation to you - IF issue to do with my husband, my health is OK, egg quality good etc but a few failed IVF/ICSIs... I do acupuncture to help me feel as though I'm doing everything possible - especially around transfer time and love it. Thinking of you while you go through this difficult time xoxo

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